Democratic Convention Schedule

 

4:00 PM – Opening American Flag Burning Ceremony

4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

4:15 PM – Ceremonial I hate America led by Michelle “Lord of the Fries” Obama

4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM – Jessie Jackson Leads Castrati Choir in Singing “Great Balls of Fire”

5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden

5:15 PM – How to get away with Insider Trading – Nancy Pelosi

5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite

5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States

6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer

8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons

9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement for Violent Anti-Trump Protesters

9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore

9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangel

9:50 PM – Controlling the National Debt — Obama

9:55 PM – Vacationing on a budget – The Obama’s

10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners

10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for Iraq & Afghanistan

11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration

11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagojevich rally

11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards

11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding

12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Hillary by Oprah

12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination for Lord and Savior

12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing

1:00 AM – Huma Delivers Acceptance Speech

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