Democratic Convention Schedule

Democratic Convention Schedule
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial I hate America led by Michelle “Lord of the Fries” Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM – Jessie Jackson Leads Castrati Choir in Singing “Great Balls of Fire”
5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for Iraq, & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagojevich rally
11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher
12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination for Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

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